Unity In Marriage

Elder Eyring, from his talk called, “That We May Be One” (Ensign, May 1998, 66) taught us to become one in marriage by striving and choosing to have The Holy Spirit with us at all times. The way we can be one in marriage is that we must fully live the commandments and not pick and choose which we want to obey. It’s either all or nothing. When you have the spirit with you, you are righteous in thoughts and actions. And when you have the Holy Ghost with you in your marriage, you will be one with each other and therefore will have peace and harmony in your family unit.

Elder Eyring said, “If we are to have unity, there are commandments we must keep concerning how we feel. We must forgive and bear no malice toward those who offend us. The Savior set the example from the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). We do not know the hearts of those who offend us. Nor do we know all the sources of our own anger and hurt. The Apostle Paul was telling us how to love in a world of imperfect people, including ourselves, when he said, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:4–5). And then he gave solemn warning against reacting to the fault of others and forgetting our own when he wrote, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known” (1 Cor. 13:12).” I really like this quote because Elder Eyring reminded me to forgive others as Jesus forgives everyone and was willing to suffer on the cross for us. When we think of Christ’s love for us, we can extend that unconditional love to our spouse to have unity in our marriage, in our work atmosphere, in church and in any place that we might find ourselves in.

We can all have unity in marriage by forgiving and loving each other and doing everything we can to have charity in our heart for our spouse. We must lift them up and cheer them up instead of picking on them for little things that they do wrong. For example, I used to get so impatient when I asked my husband to do something and he didn’t get to it right away. It made me so mad and I got frustrated and would end up doing it myself.  I wanted instant results! You know what, after reading Elder Eyring’s talk I need to stop that. I have realized that I am not being charitable when I acted that way. I must put an end to it and be patient and kind.  It’s not easy. I’m not perfect and I know as I practice on having unity in my marriage, my heart will soften and I will be a better and understanding wife. On the other hand, I can show charity and love for my husband by taking the time to let him know how much I appreciate him for all his love and support in everything I do. Not saying or showing our spouse our appreciation to them is not in harmony with being one with each other. We must stop continually finding fault in each other and focus on the good and positive side of our marriage. Unity, or oneness in marriage, will make a home a happy place for all to enjoy.