Sexual Intimacy in Marriage


Sexual intimacy is a very hard topic for me to talk about, not to mention write about.  I know that people get married for lots of reasons, like to be with the one they love, for sex, for procreation, for pleasure, for dowry, for arrangement, or for uniting a family together. The choice is either freely made or someone has made it for you. I am originally from Cambodia. I came from a culture where marriages are arranged by parents and being forced to marry someone you don’t even know, let alone have any love for is very common.  Yet, some of these marriages often last a long time and some do not. Some marriages end up joyfully and others are filled with lots of sorrow and suffering. No matter how your marriage came about, sexual intimacy is part of life and each couple experiences it in their own way. 
I’m thankful that I grew up in America and was fortunate enough to choose my own spouse. I believe in God’s law of chastity. His law is that man and woman should not have any sexual relations with anyone except to the one you are legally and lawfully married to. We tried to instill in our children this same principle. But once we are married, sex is only one important part of the relationship.  “Even though sex can be an important and satisfactory part of married life, we must remember that life is not designed just for sex. Even marriage does not make proper certain extremes in sexual indulgence. To the Ephesians saints Paul begged for propriety in marriage: ‘So ought men to love there wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.’ (Eph. 5:28.) And perhaps the Lord’s condemnation included secret sexual sins in marriage, when he said, ‘…And those who are not pure, and have said that were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.’(D&C 132:52.)”-(President Spencer W. Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness, 73).
Sexual intimacy between married couples who are honest and loyal to each other with complete fidelity are more often satisfied in their marriage.  Those who struggle and have issues within this area can find help by reaching out to a therapist. Personally, I believe that open communication with your partner about your needs, and working to fulfill them and please each other is the best way to face this problem. This may not be easy for some people, but there are resources available to help.


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